The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
