He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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