problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
