3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize