So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
