Where is the hickey?
Moan for me like Helen Keller
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize