it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
