We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
