So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
