i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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