Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
