My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
