Fine. I'll sleep in my office
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
