You don't have asthma, your pregnant
no, he came in my armpit
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
