i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
