best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
