friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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