It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
how drunk are you?
Several
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
