That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
My life is pants optional.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
