i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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