We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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