don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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