I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
