Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
