Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
