The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
