just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Randomize
