And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
i've created a new STD.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
