was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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