it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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