ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
i out mim tonsoeep
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
