Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
