I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
