I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
