she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize
