if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
high people should be assigned attendants
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
