Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
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