Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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