Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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