he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
