This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize