I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
