She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
