Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
