i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
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