She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize