My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
