she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Randomize
