I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
