...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
