So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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