First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
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