This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
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