but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
