he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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