New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
