She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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