Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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